23 October 2009

C'mon, man!

Before the ESPN coverage of Monday Night Football, the pregame show has a segment called 'C'mon, Man!' where some absurdity or other in the league is highlighted and the fellow presenting that bit finishes with 'C'mon, man!' in a chiding way. For example:

'During the Oakland-Denver game, linebacker Knuckledragger Johnson celebrates sacking Denver QB Kyle Orton. Problem is Oakland's down 35-0 in the 4th quarter. What the hell you celebratin' for? You're being embarrassed out there! C'mon, maan!'

Recently here, we had a woman killed by a drunk driver, which is an all-too-frequent occurrence these days. The accident happened about 4:45 in the afternoon and the drunk driver (who was only slightly injured) was already out on bail for a DUI the month before!

C'mon, man!

If you're in a drunk driving accident at quarter to five in the afternoon, you're starting drinking pretty freaking early! And if you're caught for DUI twice in a month, than there's at least one fucking problem. One with you and one with the system that allows you to be out there on the road.

Mind that this doesn't take into account all the other times in the month that this woman didn't get caught, because I'd bet my Soviet three-ruble note that her behavior's a nearly everyday occurrence.

I've seen a few other stories of people with, oh, 9 or 10 DUI's, or getting caught two or three times in a one-or-two month span. I'd bet most of us (yours truly included) have gotten behind the wheel when we weren't really capable of walking, let alone controlling a ton of plastic and steel. And most of us got lucky. But if someone makes a habit of driving drunk, then I'm not too sure they wouldn't be in the same league as a person in a park waving a gun or knife around. They're certainly not concerned that their actions potentially threaten others, and, of course, 'they have their rights' and to hell with everyone around them.

Certainly someone should be looking at a person's record when they come to trial! It doesn't seem like suspension/revocation of licenses works. Got a breathalyzer hooked up to your ignition? These people probably find someone to blow into it for them.

I'm seriously thinking about, should someone get caught either 'x' number of times or, say, three times in a year, cutting off a hand. That might get more attention from all involved better than some judge lecturing a habitual offender. And it won't happen more than twice, there, Stump. We call the Islamic system of justice 'barbaric' but one wonders if some of the deterrent measures they use might not be more effective on certain of the hardcore criminal set.

I swear, the older I get, the more I lean toward 'dry'. If you want an insidious drug that efficiently wrecks lives, families, and relationships, you don't have to go much farther than the liquor cabinet. Good old alcohol. At least most of the pot smokers I've run across are stoned, stupid, and have the reflex action of a lobotomized dinosaur, but they have no inclination to go operating a vehicle in that state.

Don't get me wrong-I like a beer when at the baseball game, and I could tell you about a couple of hayrides back in my younger days that ended with random vomiting and a hangover in the megaton range, but I think I outgrew some of that. Plus I had a place to flop and I didn't have to drive home.

Or maybe I've just gotten old and cranky.

I dunno. I just get tired of seeing people racking up a pile of DUIs and acting like it's no big deal. Or getting nailed twice in a month and caulking some schmuck who just happened to be driving in the wrong place at the wrong time-unfortunately not themselves.

C'mon, man!

yankeedog out.


  1. YDog, I think over there and over here, there needs to be the return of the idea that if rehabilitation isn't working more serious measures need to be considered.

  2. If getting tired of seeing people who get a pile of DUIs and acting like it's no big deal is juct getting old and cranky then consider me old and cranky.

  3. Bangar-Getting caught several times indicates to me a chronic condition that conventional means ain't fixing.

    Barnesy-Perhaps, then, we need to meet at the shuffleboard court. Or for a wild game of checkers!

  4. Yeah I have no patience for repeat offenders.

    I understand that it is extremely difficult to judge where the limit is and it is easy to be a little over. But at the end of the day we all know the rules and are sober when we make the decision to start drinking.

  5. Naut-Yep, and if there's a designated driver or you're crawling to place to flop after the party, well, drink up. Too damn many people NOT learning from their mistakes,though-and killing people along the way.

  6. Of course you could be helping a friend out,

    With friends like that who needs enemies?

  7. I had my "c'mon man" when Orlando Pace committed a false start during the Bears/Falcons game.

    The problem is, the system takes away the license of these drivers, but it doesn't take away their ability to drive a car. What needs to happen is, their cars need to be impounded. And if the spouse needs one of the cars, then you take all but one set of keys, and you change the law so that anything the drunk driver does, the spouse (or the owner of the vehicle, if it's borrowed) is also liable for.

  8. Steve-My Bears 'C'mon, man' moment was ALL of the Bears/Bengals game. What a cockup.

    The idea of collective responsibility isn't bad. And if they catch the DD in someone else's vehicle or whatever, toss his/her ass in the Graybar Hotel and lose the key.

  9. 9 or 10 DUIs isn't carelessness, or inattention. It's alcoholism and needs to be treated as such. Symptomatic of a much, much larger problem (though there's not much larger than killing someone of course). One of our football (round-ball) coaches was busted for his second DUI at half-seven on a Saturday morning, still well over the limit from the night before. He got fired, but is still in denial about the fact he has a problem and is taking his club to court over his severance arrangements etc.