The Personals Translation Guide

...courtesy of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.

We've all read personal ads or at least seen a dating website. Personally, I'd rather be by myself than get into the blind meat market. Your mileage may vary. Maybe you had a good experience on a dating site! At any rate, the staff at UJBR put together this handy guide for translating those personal ads. I'm posting it here as a Public Service.

WOMEN SEEKING MEN:

When they say-What they mean is

Affectionate-Possessive
Artistic-Unreliable
Athletic-Flat-chested
Exotic Beauty-Will frighten your dog
Free Spirit-Substance abuser
Loves animals-Cat lady
New Age-Loaded with body hair
Outgoing-Loud
Spiritual-Involved in a cult
Seeking A Soul Mate-Stalker

Don't yuk it up too much, gentlemen. We have our own codewords. Read on:

MEN SEEKING WOMEN:

When they say-What they mean is

Athletic-Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average-looking-Over-average hair growth on ears and back
Educated-Will treat you like an idiot
Employed-On management track at Radio Shack
Free spirit-Will sleep with your sister
Huggable-Overweight and hairy (Oops!)
Professional-Owns a white button-down shirt
Sensitive-Needy
Stable-Stalker, but never convicted
Thoughtful-Says 'please' when demanding a beer

Upon reviewing these last ten, I guess I have to say....

....Yeah. They're probably right.

yankeedog out.