And more fails...

...because I like them. And I have no other content.

Personally, I prefer to use Doritos in my domestic disputes. You can chuck 'em like throwing stars!

A lot of people don't know that many Irish came to America after the Great Enchilada Famine of 1848.

Don't you hate how the airlines try to cram more cargo and passengers on their flights? I like how the handler just goes about his business.

Natalie, Jen, Trish-you'd better show more grace than this when leaving a party!

Only in Hoboken would they put a Denver Boot on the police car!

Many people say that Coca-Cola tastes like crap.

Now here we have a rare 1946 Veeblefetzer Velocipedal Mowing Machine.

Prince Harry is I believe first in line to be the next Aquaman after the current Aquaman dies or abdicates.

Ah, good stuff there!

yankeedog out.

Success with fails

Looks like Failblog is going to give People of Walmart a run for its money. Some good pics there!

Here are a few for your perusal.

The day the Cubs win the World Series.

And I thought the Philippine terrorist group MILF took the 'Most Suggestive Acronym' award...

The other day, Bangar told me he fixed the air conditioning in his car. Works now!!

Forsooth! 'Tis Sir Darth of Vader, Lorde of the Sythe! Wouldst ye partake of a tyrkey legge, m'lorde?

The hair-of-the-dog aisle!

Yo, yo, yo! This is Pastor Dogg! Give it up for our God, G-Hovah!

Way to go, England! Take that effing tower from the French! They owe you for two World Wars, anyway!

Unfortunately, Spiderman met his match in the evil villain Analfisticus.

The Ravens used the Baltimore Slingshot several times on their way to the playoffs.

So THAT'S where refried beans come from!

yankeedog out.

Midwinter blahhhs...

"And I ain't seen the the sunshine since...I don't know when"

Johnny Cash, Folsom Prison Blues.

Blaaaah.

We haven't had a sunny day up here since January 8. I feel like I'm in Seattle or London or someplace where the darkness lasts for six months. This is starting to accent my normally dour disposition.

A bit of blah at work, with some peaks and valleys in using Pro/E. It seems like at times the program fights what the user wants to do. The other fellow in the design lair has been a big help in my learning, but he's been using it for 8 years and he reckons he knows about 5% of its capabilities. One suspects the other 95% we need to learn would make the 5% we use much easier. There aren't a lot of classes in Pro out here at the local colleges. Looks like we learn by doing. I've been taking a lot of notes, though. Perhaps 'Pro/E for Dummies' might be in the works when all this is said and done. Rather a shame Big Green uses Pro for its modeling and design work. SolidWorks is a much easier program to use and has a better layout.

I'm nearly ready to get paper and pencil out and start drawing in the old-school, Master FKN Havock style-by hand (and he does good work on his sketches, if you saw them in his blog posts-trust me on this).

We have three elderly relatives in various stages of decrepitude that we're dealing with, which has consumed most of the last few weekends. After performing tasks for them on weekends and off-work time, we haven't got a lot of time for anything else. I dunno how people with a brace of children take care of everything!

Ah, well. Favre's not going to the Super Bowl, and pitchers and catchers report to spring training in about three weeks. So life ain't all bad, I reckon.

Hope the Oz readers are having a fair Australia Day. It sounds from some of your comments like there is a certain segment of the population there that considers wearing the Southern Cross and bashing anyone not of their color a good way to celebrate the day.

Now I know that type-substitute the Stars and Bars for the Cross and we have many of their relatives here. Generally they provide a bit of humor but often as not they're a collective embarrassment.

Perhaps you might use the weapon we use here. Poorly-made Chinese fireworks. People like that are attracted to fireworks like flies to a steaming pile of cow crap. Just relax your laws on fireworks possession and use for one day. They'll be too busy blowing off their spare digits-looking at you, there, Stumpy Bogan and Three-Fingers Munter-to be a pain to anyone else.

There. A plan of such lethal cunning and elegant simplicity that I'm surprised some of you didn't think of it earlier.

Let me look at the list. Went to work. Cussed out Pro. Bitched about the crap weather. Checked Twitter to see that none of you are doing any better. Laughed at, and not with, Favre. Fixed Australia Day.

Yep. Covered everything that needed done today. Such a deal!

yankeedog out.

To the Vikes: Yikes!

The other night I was driving home listening to the sports yakkers out of Chicago and they played a song Minneapolis native and former pop music influence Prince, or Symbol, or whatever his name is now, wrote for his hometown Vikings, who are playing the Saints for the NFC Championship and a shot at the Super Bowl. Wanna hear it? Here 'tis:



How's that for a fast paced football rally song? If I'm a Vikings fan, I'm reaching for my airsick bag right now. If you want to sing along, here's the lyrics:

the veil of the sky draws open

the roar of the chariots touch down
we r the ones who have now come again
and walk upon water like solid ground
as we approach the throne we won't bow down
this time we won't b denied


raise every voice and let it b known
in the name of the purple and gold


we come in the name of the purple and gold
all of the odds r in r favor
no prediction 2 bold
we r the truth if the truth can b told
long reign the purple and gold


the eyes say ready 4 battle
no need 4 sword in hand
we r all amped up like a rock n roll band
ready 2 celebrate every score
ready 2 fight the elegant war
ready 2 hear the crowd roar


that's what we came 4
and so much more
in the name of the purple and gold




r spirits may b tired
r bodies may b worn
but since this day is r destiny
r history that's y we must b
4ever strong as the wind that blows the Vikings' horn
in the name of the purple and gold

When I heard the song, I was reminded of this little ditty:



Россия — священная наша держава,

Россия — любимая наша страна.
Могучая воля, великая слава —
in the name of the purple and gold!

Now, the Russian (ex-Soviet, but with rewritten lyrics, and soon to have a club/electronica beat) might be a fine national anthem, but it isn't anything that's going to pump up a crowd at your basic NFL tilt.

I dunno. I think if the Vikings get to the playoffs anytime soon and Prince wants to write another rally song, I suggest declining-politely-and sticking with the old fight song. It's shorter, faster, and a lot less annoying.




 Believe me-you have Brett Favre on your team. You need to trim some annoying from wherever else you can in the Minnesota Vikings football experience to compensate for him and his antics.

I can't rag on Favre too much-after all, he DID feed 10,000 Viking fans with just two sardines and a bag of pretzels. He also visited a cancer ward at the Mayo Clinic, laid hands on everyone there, and caused them to be healed. And I believe he was out on a boat on Lake Minnetonka with his offensive line. There came up a big storm which tossed the boat around. The big linesmen were all scared, but Favre stood up, rebuked the waves, and caused them to be still. He will also walk on the Mississippi River on the way to the game.

Brett Favre. Jesus Christ. One and the same if you listen to the sports media.

Go N'awlins! Who Dat? Who Dat? Who Dat Say Dey Gonna Beat Dem Saints?

yankeedog out.

Ice, ice, baby...

It got just warm enough this month, as it will do at times, for us to get an ice storm. We have a beautiful, almost iridescent, coating of ice on the trees and the snowpack. When I came in from work tonight, I could hear the branches on the trees jingle like wind chimes as the breeze blew them about.

Unfortunately, that same coating of ice is on cars, streets, sidewalks, and power lines. That can be a problem. The accumulation of ice does weigh down the power lines and they snap. All that stuff about coefficient of friction you sat through in physics class is true. Rubber on slippery surfaces has a low coefficient. That may be good in some situations (to forestall the inevitable wisecrack), but it makes for treacherous walking and driving.

About the only thing to do when one of these starts up is head home, hunker down, and wait it out. I'd much rather have a foot of snow than 1/4 inch of ice. If you fall in a snowdrift, generally there isn't a lot of harm done. Fall on ice and you can get hurt fairly easily. And there's nothing like watching a car slide down a hill like a puck on an air hockey table, unless that car is headed toward something you own or, worse yet, still owe money on.

The good part is that now I don't have a long commute back and forth to work. I've been in a couple of ice storms when leaving work-and a 30 mile drive home that would stretch out to 90 minutes to two hours. I don't miss those days.

Anybody out there with some horror stories about ice-other than 'YD, I was sitting at the club the other afternoon and I only got one cube in my scotch on the rocks.'?

yankeedog out.

Some local pics

A few pictures of the area. No common thread or anything like that-just some comments.

There really aren't enough good Japanese-Mexican places, so my pal Hiroshi Rodriguez started one. If you get here, try the teriyaki fajitas with miso de gallo and have umeboshi flan for dessert. Knock back a Modelo Especial sake and you have a dinner to die for!

I don't know anything about this house, except that it overlooks a pond (which was most likely a quarry once upon a time) and the Mississippi River, and I would buy this place in a second were it for sale and I had the money. I love this place and the location!

Here's a pair of quad fifties, part of the formidable Le Claire, Iowa, harbor defenses. Those godless bastards over 'cross the river in Port Byron get uppity and try to sneak over and steal our wimmenfolk, and they'll get a faceful of 'fitty cal'. Serve 'em right!

Of course, it's a veteran's memorial in Le Claire. And I believe the veteran's memorial in Port Byron has a 75mm pack howitzer. Seriously. That'll put paid to the machine guns.

Between Sabula, Iowa and the old hometown of Savanna, is a bridge over the Mississippi. This causeway leads to the bridge. On both sides are the backwaters and sloughs which are at present frozen over. I saw where some snowmobilers had been driving on the ice. That's generally OK around that part of the river because the water isn't that deep. If one breaks through, he or she'd be about waist deep in water. There are spots where you can hit a thin spot on the ice, fall in, and, if you're lucky, just lose the snowmobile. If you aren't lucky, you drown because you can't find the hole you fell into. It happens every once in a while.

The area has a generally swampy feel about it in the summer. I remember about 20 years ago driving by here and seeing about a dozen National Guard Hueys 'coptering over the treetops. Looked a bit like what I'd imagine an airmobile operation in the Mekong might have looked like way back when.

The blue shacks along the sloughs tell me that there are some people ice fishing. Whether they're ice catching or not is anyone's guess. There used to be a spot north of Savanna that had lots of people ice fishing in the winter, but I haven't seen anyone there this year. My guess is that the water has gotten so shallow and silted in that the place just freezes solid.

Finally we have the riverboat 'Twilight', which is docked for the winter. In the summer and fall, 'Twilight' does two-day river excursions. It has the old-time calliope and is reminiscent of something out of a Mark Twain novel. It isn't a cheap trip-the excursion includes an overnight stay in Dubuque (figure about 200 mi (450km) or so round trip) but I'd like to do this sometime.

Just a few items of local color, deep in the heart of a Midwest winter. Hope you liked.


yankeedog out.

Some more shoppers

...because we all like People of Walmart, don't we! This site is guaranteed to make you feel good no matter what mood you're in. Remember, we're not laughing at them, we're laughing because of them.

I'm...too sexy for my boots, too sexy for my boots...

Just put the 50 pound bags of dog food on top of the baby cage, err, cart...

Daa-aad! My turn to be dragged through the store behind the power chair!

By day, Gerald Veeblefetzer, mild-mannered tollbooth attendant. But at night, he becomes...Tie-Dye Man, righter of wrongs and champion of Justice!

It was at this point that we thought Dave might be taking the videogames too seriously.

I wish I could coordinate like this.

Now, I'm packing a pile of extra kilos so I can't in good conscience just pick on the overweight people-pot calling the kettle black, and all that. However, I don't run around letting everything hang out, either. So I'll make an exception.

Is it me, or are some of the parts installed backwards?

But don't feel bad if you shop at the local Wally World. It appears that you can run across anybody while there. Hey! Isn't that Steven Tyler, former (?) lead singer from Aerosmith? It is! Standing right next to the guy with no face! Awesome!

Walk this way...to Walmart!

yankeedog out.