Some local pics

A few pictures of the area. No common thread or anything like that-just some comments.

There really aren't enough good Japanese-Mexican places, so my pal Hiroshi Rodriguez started one. If you get here, try the teriyaki fajitas with miso de gallo and have umeboshi flan for dessert. Knock back a Modelo Especial sake and you have a dinner to die for!

I don't know anything about this house, except that it overlooks a pond (which was most likely a quarry once upon a time) and the Mississippi River, and I would buy this place in a second were it for sale and I had the money. I love this place and the location!

Here's a pair of quad fifties, part of the formidable Le Claire, Iowa, harbor defenses. Those godless bastards over 'cross the river in Port Byron get uppity and try to sneak over and steal our wimmenfolk, and they'll get a faceful of 'fitty cal'. Serve 'em right!

Of course, it's a veteran's memorial in Le Claire. And I believe the veteran's memorial in Port Byron has a 75mm pack howitzer. Seriously. That'll put paid to the machine guns.

Between Sabula, Iowa and the old hometown of Savanna, is a bridge over the Mississippi. This causeway leads to the bridge. On both sides are the backwaters and sloughs which are at present frozen over. I saw where some snowmobilers had been driving on the ice. That's generally OK around that part of the river because the water isn't that deep. If one breaks through, he or she'd be about waist deep in water. There are spots where you can hit a thin spot on the ice, fall in, and, if you're lucky, just lose the snowmobile. If you aren't lucky, you drown because you can't find the hole you fell into. It happens every once in a while.

The area has a generally swampy feel about it in the summer. I remember about 20 years ago driving by here and seeing about a dozen National Guard Hueys 'coptering over the treetops. Looked a bit like what I'd imagine an airmobile operation in the Mekong might have looked like way back when.

The blue shacks along the sloughs tell me that there are some people ice fishing. Whether they're ice catching or not is anyone's guess. There used to be a spot north of Savanna that had lots of people ice fishing in the winter, but I haven't seen anyone there this year. My guess is that the water has gotten so shallow and silted in that the place just freezes solid.

Finally we have the riverboat 'Twilight', which is docked for the winter. In the summer and fall, 'Twilight' does two-day river excursions. It has the old-time calliope and is reminiscent of something out of a Mark Twain novel. It isn't a cheap trip-the excursion includes an overnight stay in Dubuque (figure about 200 mi (450km) or so round trip) but I'd like to do this sometime.

Just a few items of local color, deep in the heart of a Midwest winter. Hope you liked.


yankeedog out.

Some more shoppers

...because we all like People of Walmart, don't we! This site is guaranteed to make you feel good no matter what mood you're in. Remember, we're not laughing at them, we're laughing because of them.

I'm...too sexy for my boots, too sexy for my boots...

Just put the 50 pound bags of dog food on top of the baby cage, err, cart...

Daa-aad! My turn to be dragged through the store behind the power chair!

By day, Gerald Veeblefetzer, mild-mannered tollbooth attendant. But at night, he becomes...Tie-Dye Man, righter of wrongs and champion of Justice!

It was at this point that we thought Dave might be taking the videogames too seriously.

I wish I could coordinate like this.

Now, I'm packing a pile of extra kilos so I can't in good conscience just pick on the overweight people-pot calling the kettle black, and all that. However, I don't run around letting everything hang out, either. So I'll make an exception.

Is it me, or are some of the parts installed backwards?

But don't feel bad if you shop at the local Wally World. It appears that you can run across anybody while there. Hey! Isn't that Steven Tyler, former (?) lead singer from Aerosmith? It is! Standing right next to the guy with no face! Awesome!

Walk this way...to Walmart!

yankeedog out.

Model(ing) citizens

One of the hobbies that I find myself not having a lot of time for is modeling. Scale models, that is. I've been building the things since I was seven or eight years old. In those days, stores like K-mart had a decent hobby and model section. Even the grocery stores had a few kits that I'd scrape and save several allowances for. I started out with battleships (lots of guns!), had the obligatory Star Trek Enterprise and Klingon Battle Cruiser kits, and built more than my share of planes.

Even today I still like to build and I have a backlog of models-everything from a WWII US Baltimore class heavy cruiser (one of my favorite warships-I wish there were one left as a museum) to a Y-Wing from Star Wars.

Sometimes companies will repop (reissue) old kits from the 1950s and 1960s. Being older now than I was in the 1970s, I see that these kits were big, clunky, and not necessarily all that accurate a representation of their subject. But at the time, they were great. You could knock them together in an afternoon, if you ripped the parts off the sprue, used half a tube of styrene cement, and didn't bother with niceties like paint.

Also, with the benefit of age and experience, those clunky kits, can, with a bit of work, be built into a decent model. Sometimes these old kits are the only representations of a certain vehicle, ship, whatever, that are available.

But as I look at some of the newer offerings by the model companies, I don't know how anyone could afford to start to get into the hobby. One of my first kits was an M47 Patton tank from Renwal, all plastic, with such exciting features as opening hatches, rotating turret, elevating main gun, vinyl treads, and little men representing the tank crew and a half-squad of infantry. The kit probably cost all of $5.95 back in 1975.

The latest issue of Fine Scale Modeler has a writeup on a kit of the 'Ersatz M10', which was a German Panther tank made up to look like a US M10 tank destroyer. They were used in the Ardennes in 1944 as a deception by the Germans. A nice kit, but not for the squeamish-or a beginner:

Dragon 'Ersatz M10' kit-745 parts (43 photoetched-metal), $60.95 (!)

Cripes! Even I won't pay $61 for a model. And I guarantee the build is more complex than the old M47 kit I wrote about. The tracks are most likely individual links, which I grant look better than the old 'rubber band' tracks but are a tremendous, fiddly pain to build. The photoetched-metal is very thin and used to provide 'in-scale' grab handles, dials, handwheels, light guards, and whatever else is too hard to mold in plastic-but using photoetched metal requires a good set of clippers, a bit of patience, and cyanoacrylate (super glue) to attach to the model.

So you have a kit which will require two types of adhesive, several types of tool, a big workspace, and a lot of patience-most of which the beginner or novice won't have.

And most modern vehicle, ship, and plane kits made today are of similar complexity and price. They build into great-looking works, but they're certainly not for all ages.

To be fair, there are several companies producing simpler kits, but they kind of go too far to simplicity-they're pre-painted and snap-together. Five minutes and no skills required. It doesn't seem like there are a lot of kits in between-complex enough to take a few hours to build and finish but don't require a complete workshop along the way. Makes one wonder if the hobby will continue, and if the upcoming generation will have enough patience and a long enough attention span to actually complete a model.

So. You all have learned one thing about me-I'm a bit of a geek. But you all knew that, or should have, anyway.

I must go now, and digest the implications of former Cardinal slugger Mark McGwire's admission of steroid use. I never would have guessed he was on the juice! Just because all of a sudden he had the strength and muscles of an ox (along with matching temperament, intelligence, and glandular secretions) and his head grew enough that his cap could hold a bushel of peaches didn't indicate anything out of the ordinary for me!

Mark, we all knew. It wasn't a surprise.

yankeedog out.

Oh, very well...

Technology marches on. It might be time for the Flying Circus to expand into the Twitter Theatre of Operations, though I don't know at this point if I'll care much for it. I'm a bit too wordy for a 140 character familygram, and at any rate most of you that visit here still live on the other side of the world and Twitter probably hasn't figured how to compress the time/date difference.

http://twitter.com/yankeedog66

We'll give it a go. If I don't like it I'm going back to semaphore and smoke signals.

Catch some of ya's on the other side!

yankeedog out.

Next, the exploding toupee...

First, I'd like to do a Public Service Announcement.

It's past Christmas, New Year's, Epiphany, and the Orthodox Christmas. Time to take down the exterior Christmas decorations, everyone. If you're in the deep freeze like we are and don't want to go out and seize up due to the cold, at least don't light the decorations and displays, because now you just look like a dork.

Thank you.

Next, I'm sure we've all heard by now about the attempt by a Nigerian-born gentleman to blow up an airplane in Detroit by means of a bomb hidden in his underwear. Forutnately, the passengers around him managed to subdue him before he could do the deed and everyone came out all right.

Some of the people fighting us are quite wily, clever, and resourceful, especially on their home turf, and they give our guys a good fight, as far as that goes.

But I do wonder who in Al-Qaida is responsible for recruiting people and designing weapons to attempt to blow up our planes, because he needs to be given his release or traded to another terrorist organization for a low-round draft choice.

A bomb hidden in the underwear? C'mon, man! That sounds like something Mel Brooks would come up with for Maxwell Smart to use. This is the best you can do? What next, Abdul-a chemically-treated hairpiece that, when dunked in a liquid, turns into a bomb? Good luck with that. Everyone knows that passengers on domestic flights are only allowed one glass of water and a tiny bag of peanuts. You'd be better off carving the peanuts into projectiles and using a rubber band to shoot them across the cabin.

I don't know what will happen with the Nigerian fellow. The merciful side of me says that he should be placed on the tarmac and all those passengers who missed connecting flights ought to be allowed to take a whack at him. Tape the affair and send it to Al-Jazeera with a warning that future recruits will be dealt with according to American justice, which shouldn't be confused with the American legal system.

The sadistic side of me says he ought to made to spend the remainder of his life in Detroit. Everyone complained that President Bush should have faced war crimes trials for detaining fighters in Guantanamo Bay and punished for same, that punishment being six months in jail in Belgium. My suggestion of exile in Detroit probably has just earned me an indictment as well-six months just being in Belgium.

If Detroit can't handle him, I could recommend Gary, Indiana, or East St. Louis, Illinois as suitable dwelling places.

Somewhere Al-Qaida has an A-game. Don't they? Or is exploding Fruit-of-the-Looms the best we can expect from them? It makes it in some ways hard to take them seriously. Perhaps we've not utilized the best and most-cutting weapon we can use against them-humor.

Somewhere God will be sitting on his throne, probably not all that concerned with the comings-and-goings of one rather small planet in the backwater of the Milky Way, and God's Secretary for Colonial Affairs Etc. will bring this wannabe to The Boss.

"What is it, Adderly? Make it quick. I'm due at the club in an hour."
"Sir. It seems this gentleman tried to destroy a jet full of people by means of exploding briefs. Underwear, that is. He claims to have attempted this in Your name."
"I see. I don't believe I ever mentioned explosive clothing as an Approved Method of Smiting."
"You didn't, sir, although I believe it was discussed at the General Conference last year. It was decided that the scimitar should remain the most destructive device used for Killing in Your name, although the guys in Technical said that should someone invent the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator, it would make, and I quote, "a kick-ass death dealer"."
"The Technical people need to get out more. What to do about this fellow, though?"
"He claims that, according to the rules, he's entitled to 72 virgins."
"Oh, that. I didn't know Muhammad would take me seriously when I told him about the virgins. These humans can be a literal bunch. I wish I'd given them more brains and less ability to grow sideburns. Nothing to be done for that now. Well, make sure all of his inprocessing forms are in order and place him with the role-playing game devotees."
"Very good, sir."

Stay tuned. Perhaps The Neutron Bomb Cleverly Concealed In An Upper Denture Plate will be the next weapon in the Al-Qaida inventory.

yankeedog out.

Statue-tory rape

You know, kids, it's cold out, I'm tired, it's been a long day, and I have nothing for you tonight...

...except this collection of pictures courtesy of one of our local morning radio shows. But it's a good enough collection at that! Thanks to Dwyer and Michaels for coming up with this group of pics.

yankeedog out.

Stone cold (ice cold)

First, and I hate to say it, Iowa beat Georgia Tech 24-14 in the Orange Bowl. I thought I asked some of you to pull for Tech back a couple of posts ago.

Thanks for nothing, Georgia Tech and Atlantic Coast Conference. Go back to basketball.

Actually, Iowa got two touchdowns early and really didn't look back during the rest of the match. I have to say that Tech didn't look all that great-sort of sluggish.

Maybe it was due to the temperature at gametime, 49 F (9.4 C). That's fairly chilly for Miami. In fact, it's been mighty cold all around the Northern Hemisphere this winter. Our winters have swung back to cold after a few warm ones back in the 90s. Perhaps the solar cycle has a bigger effect on climate than folks like Al Gore would have you believe.

It takes a special type to deal with the cold. I remember reading and hearing a couple of years ago about a fellow from Sydney who for whatever reason was a huge Green Bay Packers fan. He packed his gear, rounded up the family, and moved to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to be near his beloved gridders. He went to I believe all of the home games and most of the road tilts that year. He got a full blast of a northern Wisconsin winter, with the big snow and subzero temps and cars that need to be plugged in so they'll start and big moving mounds of fabric that have people inside them. I think he got himself back Down Under the following year-and that's probably a good thing. Although if I were a Rabbitohs fan, I'd move to Sydney to see all of their matches. You don't have to shovel the heat. But I have enough sports albatrosses and don't need another.

This has been around the net for years but it is in many ways an accurate account of a Midwest winter. I'd bet if that Aussie Packer fan kept a diary, it would have looked a lot like this. Enjoy.


Dear Diary:


August 2: Moved to our new home in Wisconsin. It is so beautiful here. The forests are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see them all covered with snow. God's Country. I love it here!

October 14: Wisconsin is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turning and beginning to color. I love the bright shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through a beautiful forest and spotted some deer. They are so graceful. They are certainly the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise!

November 11: Deer Season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon. I really love it here!

December 2: It finally snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks just like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I love Wisconsin.

December 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snow-plow did his trick again (that rascal). A winter wonderland, but pretty cold!

December 19: More snow last night. Couldn't even get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling this stuff. Darn that old snow-plow!

December 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters from shoveling this crap. I think the snow plow man hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the damn driveway, then he plows the fucking street, the Asshole!

December 25: "White Christmas" my busted ass! More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the stupid bastard. Why don't they use more salt on the roads to melt all this ice.

December 28: Guess what? More white shit fell last night. Been inside since Christmas fucking day except for shoveling out the driveway every time the "Snow Plow from Hell" comes by. Can't go anywhere, the car's buried in a mountain of frozen white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10" tonight. Do you know how many shovels- full of white shit 10" is?

January 1: Happy Fucking New Year! The weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of the white shit this time. At this rate, it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the shithead driver had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I'd already broken 6 shovels digging out from under all the white shit he pushes back into my driveway and broke my last shovel over his God damned head.

January 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food. On the way back a God damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit the fucker. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those worthless deer shit-dropping road hazards should be exterminated. Wish the fucking hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3: Took the new car to the garage in town. Would you believe the body is rusting out from all that fucking salt they dumped on the roads all winter. My car looks like a piece of shit!

July 1: Moved to Arizona! I can't imagine why anyone on their right mind would ever move to that God Forsaken State of Wisconsin.

yankeedog out.